• Social Matters >> Talaq (Divorce)

    Question ID: 7644Country: United States of America

    Title: Assalam Alai Kum, I got married in Nov 2004 in India as per my parents choice and moved to USA in Dec 2004 alongwith my husband to stay here.Immediately within 3-4 months of our marriage problems started and now it is such a case that neither of us like each other and are living together with great torture.We always fight a lot and everytime my husband blames me only and always says that am the root cause of all tension in house and he is very innocent and also always he keeps on telling me that I need to see a psychiatrist as am crazy.....???

    Question: Assalam Alai Kum, I got married in Nov 2004 in India as per my parents choice and moved to USA in Dec 2004 alongwith my husband to stay here.Immediately within 3-4 months of our marriage problems started and now it is such a case that neither of us like each other and are living together with great torture.We always fight a lot and everytime my husband blames me only and always says that am the root cause of all tension in house and he is very innocent and also always he keeps on telling me that I need to see a psychiatrist as am crazy.He is greatly influenced by his elder sisters,two in number back in India who fill his mind with evil whenever they call and speak to him.He hates my family especially my mother and talks extremely bad of her to the extent he uses worst foul words for her,though my mother has in no way harmed him anytime.He dsnt have parents and is from a low economic background and has always been jealous of my possessions and the gifts my family gives me as alhumdulillah my family is very affluent.He restricts me from talking to my parents and also hasnt given me some rights which a wife needs.For example I have no access to his money in USA.He keeps sending money to his sisters though they all are married and well settled in their life.We have a 16 month child and he ill treats the child too.He always warns me that he will remove me from house and keep the child with him as I am alone in US.He also always from beginning has been telling me that he is too handsome for me and am not fair and I look like a servant.I am wheatish colored and not very fair.When we went to India for a visit recently we stayed in his sisters house there he hit me and threatened me also.I want to ask how do I go about taking divorce from this man?My parents have tried all possible solutions till now and nothing has worked.They have spoken to his elders also but to no avail.He & his sister also always accuse my character and says am characterless and cheap though Allah knows well how pure Iam.When i read Quran he always creates loud voice by TV or singing purposely to distract me.He also dsnt like me reading Quran for long time.Now the thing is the environment in our house is very bad.I am unable to tolerate his mean talk anymore and his mental torture as am alone here and he dsnt allow me to talk to anyone.Please advise me how I go about taking divorce.Also I want to ask if I can live separate from him for some months and go back to India so that in that time we both can think calmly?Please advise suitably.

    Answer ID: 7644

    Bismillah hir-Rahman nir-Rahim !

    (Fatwa: 2012/1651=B/1429)

     

    You should contact any influential man in America who can convince your husband. It will be better if you find any way out for reconciliation. If he does not compromise, so at last you can seek divorce from him. If he does not give divorce to you, you should try to get khula. In case he is not prepared to give khula too, then you should take this matter to any Darul Qaza of your area. The members of the Darul Qaza will hear both the parties and try to settle the matter, if they fail to do so, then the Nikah will come to an end if they nullify the marriage. Thereafter, you can marry any other man after passing three menses as iddah.

     

    You can come back India for some days after taking permission from your husband. You both might find some time to deliberate the matter calmly during this period.

    Allah (Subhana Wa Ta'ala) knows Best

    Darul Ifta,

    Darul Uloom Deoband, India